J U L Y 1 7 – 2 3


Honestly I can’t believe that three more weeks and I will be moving back to New York. I remember thinking that being here in Chicago for 8 months is a very very long time back in February. Looking back now, it seems to be a blink of an eye. But isn’t it always like this. Looking back, the magnitude of everything, no matter what it is, seems to be smaller. While looking into the future, everything seems to be dramatic and amplified. I guess that’s the power of the unknown and the known. Whenever I grasp the fleeting moments of time, I get really scared. I get scared that if I don’t pay attention now, the next time I focus in on what’s happening in front of me, years could have passed. I might have settled down with a family and don’t know how it happened. We only have one chance at life, unlike all the games we’ve played, once it’s game over there’s no restart button. And this scares me so much. Am I going down the right path? Will this path lead to what I’m meant to do in life? Will it help me discover what I truly care about?

Maybe this is why I’ve been obsessed with the song Amor Fati by Epik High. My favorite line in the song is “You try to run away, run away from the world. But then you run away,
run away from yourself and you don’t know the way home.”Maybe I should just leave everything up to fate while grasping on being myself…


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