You know that question that you always get asked, “what do you want to achieve in life?” “what is your wildest dream?” I never had an answer for that. All I know is that I want to somehow help people who needs help, make a difference in their lives. My most practical dream is to have my own home, not rented but a property that’s under my name. I can decorate it however I please. This really isn’t much of a dream, more like a reachable goal.
Recently I finally decided what my wildest dream is. I want to have a Wikipedia page dedicated to me. Being able to find yourself and your life story on wiki means you’ve made an impact in the world, for better or for worse. Of course, I want to make a difference in a better sense. I think this originated from all the random wiki pages I read through in the past few weeks, from the dark matter in space to the O.J. Simpson murder case. If I remember correctly, I read the two articles within 15 minutes of each other. I have no idea now how the one topic led to the other. After reading the pages for Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, the two victims that were murdered, I got the idea of wanting my own page. To be honest, this really isn’t a great way to have the epiphany of what my wildest dream. I don’t want to have a wiki page because I was a victim of some important trial.
Since I was young, I’ve searched up my name on search engines from time to time. Having a rare name, not Jenny my actual given Chinese name, helps. The results that completely matches my Chinese characters lists within a couple of pages. I guess I’ve always had a yearning to be famous one way or the other. However, I’m not sure if I’m ready for all the haters and such that comes with being a public figure.
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I had asked my mother when I was around 12 or 13 why there are wars in the world, why can’t everyone be nice to each other and get along. My mother had replied something along the lines of “the world is not that simple, you will understand when you grow older.” Fast forward like 7 years, I’m here still confused why war happens. I understand more about how conflicts become war. I read somewhere something along the lines of “the heart of all conflict is someone trying to take advantage/oppress/conform another.” I tried to find the original quote but sadly could not find it. I feel like so many of the wars and conflict happen because one group tries to impose their views and ideals on another, undermine and take advantage of another group. Why can’t everyone just mind their own business and stop trying to tell other people what to do. Then again this is on the basis that everyone is a decent human being who are responsible for their own actions and words. Maybe I dream of a world that’s too much of an utopia. Maybe as I grow and learn more about the world I will understand better why countries go to war with each other.
I really think I would totally be part of the whole peace movement back in the 1960s, not so much of the marijuana and drug usage though. The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien is my favorite novel, and I think that has some part to do with why I’m such a pacifist.